Something is weakening your power. You're a strong leader, but in this moment, you're undermining yourself.
You have a decision to make. You’ve reached the point where you have sufficient information to move forward, yet you hesitate.
It’s time to declare it: a hell yes or a hell no.
- A hell yes means: I want it, and I will make it happen.
- A hell no means: I don’t want it, and I’m clear on that.
But in between these two clear positions lies Hell—a murky middle ground where hesitation and inconsistency reign.
Hell is people-pleasing.
Hell is self-doubt.
Hell is failing to step into the powerful leader you know you are.
When it comes to decisions like investing in executive coaching, these internal conflicts play out in four ways—and they’re all traps that rob you of your power.
1. You Don’t Want It, But You’re Pretending You Do
This is classic people-pleasing and self-protection.
You don’t want it. You know it’s not right for you. But instead of being honest, you hedge. You say you’ll “think about it” or “circle back later,” but deep down, it’s a no.
This inconsistency doesn’t just waste time—it undermines your credibility. It also denies others the clarity they need to move forward.
The Way Out: Integrity
Serve, don’t please. Recommit to honesty. Respectfully explain your position to the relevant people. Owning your “no” is far more powerful—and kinder—than pretending.
2. You Want It, But You Feel You “Shouldn’t”
Let's take an example from my world. You see the value of coaching—you know it will elevate your leadership—but you’ve convinced yourself it’s inappropriate or selfish.
For example:
- “I’m asking my team to cut costs; I can’t justify spending on myself.”
- “What will people think if I prioritise this?”
You’re making the decision mean something about you: selfish, egotistical, indulgent. Logically, you know it’s not true. Investing in yourself isn’t a private spa treatment—it’s a move that benefits everyone who depends on your leadership.
But emotionally, you’re stuck in Hell, worrying about how others might perceive you.
The Way Out: Ownership
Reframe the decision and communicate the bigger picture. Why do you want this? How will it serve your team, your business, and your mission? Take ownership of the vision and help others see the ripple effects of your growth.
3. You Want It, But You’re Scared to Commit
This is common. Creating a bigger future often demands investments of time, energy, or money that you’ve never made before.
Simply put, you’re afraid to step up. The stakes feel high, and the unknown feels risky.
But here’s the thing: If your future didn’t stretch you, it wouldn’t be worth pursuing.
The Way Out: Courage
Commit to your future. Reconnect with your ultimate vision. Be the courageous leader who invests in what matters most. Growth requires risk—but it also rewards it.
4. You Want It, But You Don’t Think You Can Make It Happen
Even experienced leaders fall into this trap. You see the value, but you doubt your ability to follow through—or you worry about convincing others to back you.
- “My board will never approve this.”
- “I don’t think I’ll have the time to make it work.”
- Perhaps it'll be better to do this later.
These aren’t real obstacles; they’re self-imposed limitations. The real issue is your belief: Are you willing to back yourself?
The Way Out: Leadership
Cast the vision. Leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself—it’s about inspiring others to align with your goals. Trust yourself to enrol your stakeholders and find the resources to make it happen.
Why Hell Costs You Power
A clear hell yes or hell no is decisive and strong. But the four “hell zones” leave you stuck in people-pleasing, doubt, and fear—and that undermines your power as a leader.
So ask yourself:
- Where in your life are you currently in “Hell”?
- Where are you hesitating, afraid of what others will think or whether you’ll succeed?
Leadership isn’t about playing small or staying comfortable. It’s about acting decisively, owning your desires, and casting a vision others can believe in.
The question is: Will you?
